CHICKENPIE.March 10, 2026. Motorists across the Philippines woke up to the biggest fuel price hike in recent memory. Gasoline prices jumped ₱7 to ₱24 per liter. Diesel climbed ₱9 to ₱31 per liter. The culprit? Global oil shocks from the ongoing Middle East conflict.
President Marcos has a solution: ask Congress for emergency powers to suspend the fuel excise tax. That's ₱10 per liter for unleaded gasoline, ₱6 per liter for diesel. The House ways and means committee fast-tracked the bill. It's all very urgent.
Here's the fun part: this is framed as a temporary measure. Temporary, like the COVID-era price controls that somehow outlasted the pandemic. Temporary, like infrastructure projects that get extended for three more fiscal years. In Philippine government time, 'temporary' means 'until we need your votes again.'
Meanwhile, Chester Cluck stands at the pump, watching the digital display spin like a slot machine. ₱150. ₱200. ₱300 per liter. His wallet screams. His vehicle sits half-full. The government debates.
Emergency powers to fix pump prices. Because nothing says 'under control' like asking for constitutional shortcuts when gas hits ₱100.
The bill will pass. The tax might drop. Prices might stabilize for a few weeks. Then the cycle repeats. Different crisis. Same emergency. Same powers. And Chester? He's switching to a bicycle.
