CHICKENPIE.We name our storms like we're blessing them at a christening. Francisco. Welcome to the family. You will probably be forgotten by Thursday.
Severe Tropical Storm Francisco entered the Philippine Area of Responsibility last night. Sixth cyclone of 2026 and it's only June — PAGASA is working overtime on the naming list while the rest of us are working overtime on the group chat. Signal warnings. NDRRMC advisories. The cousin in Bicol sending "ambot ha, okay lang kami." The cousin in Manila sending "mag-stock na tayo ng Lucky Me."
This is the ritual. We've done it fifty times. You buy sardines you already have. You refill the gallon you didn't empty from the last storm. You tape the windows with newspaper and tell yourself it helps. It does not help. But it feels like doing something, and in storm season, feeling like you're doing something is most of what we've got.
The LGU posts "stay home, be safe" at the same moment the barangay captain's pickup is leaving for higher ground. PAGASA says "moderate-to-rough seas" like there's a standard for what counts as rough when your drainage has been broken since 2019. The weather guy on the morning show points at the map with a stick. We all nod. We go back to work.
Francisco is currently 1,295 kilometers away and already has the whole country in pre-storm crouch. That's the thing about the Philippines — we are permanently three days from a weather emergency, permanently three days from checking if our emergency kit has batteries, permanently three days from discovering our emergency kit has no batteries.
Here's the part where we're supposed to say "stay safe." We'll say it. But we're also saying: stock the water, charge your phones, check on your neighbors with the low ground floor — not because Francisco is definitely coming for you, but because June is June and the archipelago doesn't negotiate.
PAGASA says it might not even make landfall. That's almost funnier. We'll panic, prep, buy forty pesos of candles, and Francisco will curve north and vanish into the Pacific. And we'll do it again next week with a different name.
Francisco. Sixth cyclone of 2026. We barely remembered the fifth.
